How To Find Courage
by Jo Devin, co-founder Positive Living Skills
It's easy, especially right now, to find ourselves worrying about the future, as we consider the impact of real or potential threats to our health, relationships, finances - any aspect of life.
Thoughts can easily and understandably turn to questions like:
What if I get sick? Or someone in my family gets sick? What if I can’t find the money? What if things get worse? What if...........?
It's easy for these thoughts to end up 'on repeat' in our minds too. We wonder how we will possibly cope or have the capacity to handle more hurdles, setbacks or challenges.
Fear and worry are real and an inevitable and inescapable part of life, especially as we get older. So how can we build our courage in these times or at least help to stop the looping worry in our minds? These tips might help:
Remember how you have handled challenges in the past.
Sometimes in challenging times we forget what we've already been able to handle or overcome. Think for a moment of a time in your past, either recently or a while ago, when you were really tested, when something extremely challenging happened.
Then come forward in time a little, to how you eventually picked yourself up, and found a way forward. You might have really struggled but somehow you dealt with the situation. Eventually you handled it. You found a way. You built resilience and inner strength. You have a success rate for this.
Ask for support.
Asking for and accepting help is a positive, human, and healthy thing. When you show your vulnerability to others, and ask for assistance, you allow others to put their arm out to support you when you need a hand, and this shows courage. Facing challenges isn’t something we are designed to do on our own. People want to help. Who in your circle could you talk to?
Acknowledge yourself. Appreciate your own capacity.
Every one of us is worthy and usually braver and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. As you think about how you have handled challenges in the past, really acknowledge yourself for the positive attributes and qualities that you possess. Acknowledge those unique strengths of yours, like you would acknowledge someone you love. Treat yourself like you would a close friend.
Keep your sense of humour.
Maintaining our sense of humour despite challenging situations or amidst them really helps to let off steam and process those stress hormones. You are allowed to find moments of joy and smile and laugh sometimes, even in serious times. Your physical and emotional health depends on it!
The truth is that you are stronger and more resourceful than you give yourself credit for most of the time.
When the going gets tough, remember that we don’t get to control the circumstances we find ourselves in no matter how much we might want to. Challenging things are inevitable, and this contrast is what gives life more meaning.
That doesn't mean you are looking forward to the next big challenge, although knowing that you have courage and strength inside you, and that you can ask for help, might add some comfort.
As Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the fear and do it anyway said, “Every time you encounter something that forces you to “handle it,” your self-esteem is raised considerably.”
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