Living With Chronic Pain
by Samantha Moss
I was loading my dishwasher recently and fighting with a plate refusing to fit in.
I was in severe lower back pain and trying to get the task over as quickly as possible. I was also trying to fit way too much into this particular load…..as you do!!
So as I continued to engage in one to one combat with my dishwasher, I cried out, “Come on, where there’s a will there’s a way”.
My renewed determination actually worked and with a quick reshuffle of a few bowls, my plate finally found its resting place. Phew! Door closed, button pushed, all done.
Is It Really That Easy?
As I returned to my armchair to rest and recover from my efforts, I began thinking about the old English proverb I’d just used to spur myself on to success.
“Where There’s A Will There’s A Way”
It just rolls off the tongue so easily doesn’t it.
I have always lived my life with a “mind over matter” type approach. I’ve always believed if I was determined to achieve a particular goal, I could find a way to do it.
Generally I could. Not anymore. Life isn’t as easy now.
Chronic pain due, to a rare bone disease, has changed everything in my life. An old English Proverb cheering me on to achieve absolutely anything, isn’t going to help.
Does That Mean I Should Give Up Trying?
Chronic pain or illness can significantly impact most areas of our lives, there is no denying that.
So should we put up an “out-of-order” sign and let life pass us by?
No, I don’t think we should. I do think we need to be realistic though about our new capabilities.
I could set a goal of running up a mountain but let’s be serious. I’d be setting myself up for failure.
Due to my rare bone disease, I have a non-union broken femur, severe spinal stenosis, an unstable lumbar spine, 7 foot fractures and I mobilise with crutches, a walker or power scooter. Inflammation quickly builds around my broken bones and pain sears as bone on bone begins to rub. My feet fracture just looking at them and I’m not exaggerating.
I clearly have major obstacles to a goal of running up a mountain, no matter how many times I stoically shout “where there’s a will there’s a way”!
So What Is Achievable?
Realistic goals can be achievable for those of us with chronic pain and illness.
Let me give you an example. I had a goal recently to write an article for my blog. I was absolutely exhausted, pain was soaring through my body and no matter how much I tried to string together some quiet days, something inevitably disturbed my “rest and recovery” plans.
No one was going to mind or worry if I didn’t write my weekly blog post.
It mattered to me though.
I’m passionate about writing. It’s been my main focus since medically retiring 6 years ago. It’s how I connect with others and it keeps my brain active.
When we set goals they need to be achievable and it helps if we can find a reason which drives us to want to achieve them.
Finding A Way
To achieve my goal of writing a blog post I had to find a way.
Firstly, I had to mentally commit. Committing required me to push aside my first thoughts telling me to leave it until next week.
It was a valid option but as I thought about the following week, I knew I had other goals I needed to achieve, so postponing it became a non-option. This was a positive thought process as it forced me to think about strategies to achieve my goal sooner.
I also knew, aside from any other reasons, it would be a great distraction from my pain. I use writing as part of my pain management therapy. Here was my reason to drive me to achieve my goal.
So I made a 4 step plan:
1. Take extra afternoon pain meds;
2. Wait for an hour so they kick in;
3. Write while lying down on my bed, using my phone. (I’ve taught myself to blog on my mobile phone rather than using my tablet or PC. It has removed so many of my writing obstacles as sitting upright is often not an option).
4. Take my time and enjoy the process, there’s no rush.
With a simple plan in place, determination, commitment and planning was rewarded and I was able to hit the publish button later in the day.
So maybe the old English proverb does have some truth to it.
Don’t let fear of disappointment put you off setting goals. It’s so important we feel a sense of purpose when living with pain. Life needn’t completely pass us by.
Finding something you are passionate about and setting a realistic goal to achieve it, can be such a great way to take your focus away from your pain and disability.
Using the word “Simple”, I’ve created an easy to remember planning outline.
S.I.M.P.L.E
S – Set a timeframe
I – Improvise where necessary
M – Modify your plan if you meet a roadblock
P – Picture the final outcome as you work
L – Listen to your body if you need a rest
E – Enjoy the process.
I hope the S.I.M.P.L.E planning outline will help you achieve goals which might seem out of reach right now.
Keep your goal simple, keep it relevant to your abilities. Before long you could be discovering, despite chronic pain, “where there’s a will, there might be a way.”
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